Without Issue

Poem 3: Advice!  A bit of a rap-rant!

Anyone going through any difficult time will know that friends, family and even complete strangers will want to ‘make things better’ for you.  Their desire to find a solution may come from a loving place but it’s also a very human reaction to put a positive spin on things, thus avoiding the messy, difficult stuff like grief, panic, sadness.  For the recipient of the advice, the lists of fixes, ‘A-Friend-of Mine’ stories, cures, treatments and coping strategies can become overwhelming.  Sometimes what you need is a hug and someone to say, ‘This is crap!’  And sometimes you just want to hold your hand up and scream, ‘Enough already!’

Yes, I’ve tried the cider vinegar…

…the multivitamins, and breakfast, lunch and candlelit dinner in
Paris, Florence n’ every goddamn romantic city in
the world. Thanks.

I’m aware I should just chillax but let’s just face facts
you try relaxing when everyone on Facebook is waxing lyrical
about their Baby on Board

and Lord – the posted scans and pictures of infant hands
cast in dinner plates or even – wait for it – pumpkins!
And yes, I’ll keep my chin up,

of course, I’ll never give up, thank you for the big up
and remind me how I should have sex – in the back of a saloon?
In the dining room?  On horseback?

In a haystack or on the soddin’ Old Man of Wilmington
on an equinox or a solstice, by the light of a waning harvest moon
clutching a rose stone or saint bones?

Okay, I’ll try dark beer and those dried crickets in kefir,
the chicken noodle soup, the Chinese herbs – their poisonous gloop
that makes me retch.

You betcha I’m pissed with all the stuff, the guff, the lists,
had enough with advice that I’ve heard twice, but most of all
I beg you, please do not trot out

even in a roundabout way, through a smile, with your head on one side
the chide you camouflage as sympathy, your fertility philosophy
that maybe after all this, it’s just not meant to be.

Deborah Sloan

Raising funds for Fertility Network UK during National Fertility Awareness Week.

Just Giving Page: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/deborah-sloan